Apology

Photo by Andraz Lazic on Unsplash

Why do I always have to end the beautiful stories the sad way?

We live as if we know a secret that no one else knows. Even on rare occasion when I was asked about you, I did not know what to say. I whispered another name instead of yours yet deep down I could only sigh. How could this be explained. But for the most part, this remains unacknowledged. No one takes your name with mine and we remain as unrecognized and as unacknowledged as two fading stars in the sky that can only be seen when you focus your eyes on them for long enough.

I don’t dare look at you even when you’re right in front of me nor I dare say your name. It’s as if I’m ashamed. I don’t dare say your name out of embarrassment. A kind of embarrassment that makes me wonder if I deserve to even say your name. On most days I’m embarrassed of my own existence. On most days, I don’t say your name in fear that this world with either laugh at me or pity me for this fool’s hope. It seems as if even considering that I could be worthy of your love is a forbidden fruit. It’s as if I’m telling my heart each day, “Lightly child, don’t be a fool enough to think you are worthy of being loved.” It seems as if I’m always apologizing.

-Falaque

You can also read Colony. نکال لایا ہوں ایک پنجرے سے اک پرندہ اب… | by Falaque | Dec, 2021 | Medium

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